When conservatives speak of the "defense of marriage," liberals are baffled. After all, no individual's marriage is being threatened. It's just that more marriages are being allowed. But conservatives see the strict father family, and with it, their political values as under attack. They are right. This is a serious matter for their politics and moral values as a whole. Even civil unions are threatening, since they create families that cannot be traditional strict father families.
This gets back to one of the important points of Ecojoy: How can we change people' thinking from dominator thinking to partnership thinking? The gay marriage movement has the same question: How can we change voters to vote down marriage amendments and support gay marriage? The answer is we can't. We can only create an environment where conservatives or dominator thinkers have the room to grow and adopt partnership thinking.
Lakoff explains things very clearly. The strict father family model describes hierarchical linking.